


Orphan Party! Yay!

by genericfanatic



Category: The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Fake Relationship, Gen, pestering friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 13:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12818673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Matt hires Jessica to help him work a case. He regrets this forever.





	Orphan Party! Yay!

“I don’t see why I can’t wear my own glasses,” Matt said as Jessica shoved the sunglasses onto his face, packing his own red pair into her jacket pocket. 

“They’re distinctive,” Jessica said, shoving his walking stick away too, “You can pretend to see for the night, can’t you?” 

Matt sighed, confirming his assent. “Do you do this to all your clients?”

“Only the ones who annoy me. Now come on.” She took a sip from her personal flask and dragged him over to the restaurant. 

Matt could hear the sounds from the neon sign. He had read in his notes that this was a high rated restaurant in town. Yeah right. He could smell the bugs and rat droppings in the kitchen from here. And lets not even get started on what they were definitely trying to pass for ‘fish’.

The young hostess hopped up to greet them, “Welcome to Kevin’s Bistro, is that 2 for dinner?”

“Yes!” Jessica said in a perky voice that scared the crap out of Matt, “Me and my boyfriend are celebrating our first anniversary!” 

It was all Matt could do to smile and Not Panic, because panicking would definitely ruin everything. Not only would his case be destroyed, Jessica would kill him.

“Oh, congratulations!” the hostess cheered for them, “Well, then, let me see if we can get you a good table. Here, uh, Michael?” She called across the room, ushering a server to them. She whispered something she thought they couldn’t hear. “Can we move these guys up the list for table 5?” The aforementioned Michael shrugged. “Michael will lead you to your table,” 

“Thank you so much!” Jessica cheered, attaching herself to Matt’s arm and pulling him to follow. Matt stiffened for a brief moment before easing into it. He kept his smile on his face, hoping it looked natural. Of course, he had no real way of telling, but still. 

To try and go along with the act, he pulled out Jessica’s chair for her. “Oh, sweetie!” She said, her voice’s pitch had risen to practically squeaking levels. As she sat, she pulled on his arm to get him to lean to her level. With her strength, he was lucky he didn’t fall over. She planted a wet sloppy kiss on his cheek with an audible “Muah!” before releasing him to go to his own chair. 

He was glad he was wearing sunglasses now. Hopefully it made his smile look less forced. “Anything for you…dear.” 

He knew she was smiling, but it was her heartbeat that interested him. It was slightly harder to tell when Jessica was lying, she was so used to it. But it was still beating faster, and he could practically smell the adrenaline coming from her. This wasn’t simply a lie…it was competition. And he was expected to play along. 

“Here are your menus,” The waiter handed to them both. Of course it didn’t have a braille option. He shouldn’t use it anyway, he wasn’t supposed to be blind tonight. “Your waiter will be with you soon to get your drinks.”

Jessica, it seemed had anticipated Matt’s problem. Not that she wasn’t going to make him suffer first. “See anything you like?” 

Matt couldn’t glare, oh, but if he could… “You should try the catch of the day,” Matt suggested as calmly as he could, “I bet you’d like it.”

She snorted. “Why don’t we get the same thing? Isn’t that just so romantic, dear?” 

Matt shuddered, and she chuckled. Her weird happy voice won this round. “How does your voice even do that?” He asked. 

“I worked in customer service.” She said, looking over the menu, “Not all of us went to law school, Harvard.”

“Columbia, actually,” he corrected. She hummed, somehow sounding more sarcastic than if she spoke. “And I had to work hard for that. Not all of us were adopted, you know.”

“Orphan party, yay,” She said in a mock version of her customer-service voice. Matt smirked. “Now, are we going to investigate this restaurant, or are you going to keep flirting with me?”

“I didn’t—you—but—“ She chuckles again, and he realized he’d been played again. “So, what do we do?”

She smirked, “Left pocket.” He frowned, but focused. To help, she swayed a bit, allowing him to see/feel the extra weight she carried in her jacket left pocket. It was a small, lightweight box. 

He blinked at her, “You didn’t.”

She shrugged, “What? It’s 2017. You think a woman can’t propose?”

“I’m just…wondering why.” He asked. 

She pushed back her chair, “Listen and learn, horny.” 

He sighed as she left for the kitchen. “At least she doesn’t think they’re ears anymore.”

She made it to the back to speak with one of the waiters, “Um, excuse me,” She said in her high-pitched voice, “Listen I’m planning a little,” pause for giggle, “surprise for my boyfriend.” 

She opened the box and showed the waitress, who also squealed with excitement. “Oh, that’s so wonderful! It looks perfect!”

“Right, so, I was wondering if I cold go back and talk to the chef? See if I could get it put on the plate somehow?”

“Of course!” The waitress said, “Come here, follow me.”

Matt listened as they went into the kitchen. The second they stepped through the threshold, he heard the sound of Jessica’s secret camera flashing rapid-fire. After the waitress introduced them and she gushed about the ring, she dropped her little nugget of the investigation, “…and my friend Sarah recommended this place to me a couple weeks ago. I know you get a lot a customers, but do you remember her? Sarah Weschler?” 

At the sound of her name, the cook’s heart rate sped up. “I can’t say I do,” he lied, “But I’m glad to have a new customer here today, and to share this with you.”

“Awww, thank you!” Jessica said, “Well, I trust you with this, please keep it safe.” Jessica backed away before she could give away her hand. 

“He was lying,” Matt said, the moment she sat back down, “Really nervous too.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Jessica said sarcastically, “Didn’t need superhearing for that.” 

“His attention was on his oven. The one that says it’s broken.” Matt added.

Jessica clicked her tongue at the information. “Sounds like we should check it out after closing.”

“Mmhmm,” he said, “Can we leave now?”

“What are you talking about?” Jessica said, “Leave my expensive engagement ring behind?”

“You mean your $10 ring?” He asked. “Do we really have to go through with this?”

“Yes,” Jessica said, “And you better agree to this marriage, buster.”

Matt groaned as he heard the waiter bringing out their ring-laiden food.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! my tumblr is [dork-empress](http://dork-empress.tumblr.com)


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